Preseason Game 1

It's not that I love Rex Grossman, I just hate the idea of Kyle Orton starting. When Rex is good, he's great. He made it look easy during the first half of '06. Kyle has never had a great game. He won ten games his rookie year, but those were cringe inducing wins. He would manage to not suck so bad that the defense couldn't win the game. He was good for one touchdown every game or so. I think he "won" a game after throwing for 68 yards. He had a chance last season and it didn't look much better. I'm not saying that this woman is a whore. I don't know her, she may be Kyle's wife, but if she were a whore, is this the quality of whore you want your starting quarterback making sex to? These pictures have been around for a few years, but this is still what i think of when I picture Orton.

This is the caliber of whore I want to see my starting quarterback with.

Until Kyle does anything to prove he's a better option, I'm a Rex guy, and I hope he starts, stays healthy and looks for D. Clark. Desmond Clark was a secret weapon in '06. He stays healthy, averages 12 yards a carry , and doesn't lose the ball. Until Olsen steps up, D. Clark is still the man at tight end.

Erik Kramer did a great job during game one. He was funny and self-deprecating. The best part was when Chicago got a penalty for running out of bounds on a kickoff. Kramer noted that a player can be pushed out but has to make an effort to get back in bounds. When the replay showed Daniael Manning running down the sideline out of bounds making no effort to get back in, Kramer started laughing at him. I like having a homer in the booth for Bears games.

Anyone would be better than Moose, Goose and Douche. Why are we stuck with these guys?

Kramer made a few mistakes, like referring to Caleb Hanie as Chad Henne. This was pointed out by the two douches Boers and Bernstein on the Score. What they didn't say is that Kramer corrected himself immediately and laughed about it.

Here's a typical Boers and Bernstein exchange.

Bernstein "Are you watching the Bears game tonight?"

Boers "No."

Bernstein"Do you care about the Olympics?"

Boers "No. And you shouldn't. Nobody should."

I'm glad you douches are on sports radio.

Speaking of douches, Lou Canellis is the preseason sideline reporter. He didn't do a bad job. The problem is that I happened to catch a show called 190North, a weekly show on ABC that explores interesting places in Chicago. It's like Wild Chicago but not as cool. Lou did a piece on a Turkish bath on Division street. He did the whole segment wrapped in a towel, and if you watch it, you get the sense that he invented this piece solely as way to appear half naked on T.V. You look great without a shirt Lou, for a guy in his 40's or 50's or 60's or however old you are. But how are we supposed to take you seriously with this image stuck in our heads?

A criticism I've always had of Robbie Gould has been the lengths of his kickoffs. The Bears are smart in that they usually never make him attempt a field goal over 50 yards. This helps keep his accuracy very high. The problem is that his kickoffs only get to the 15 to 10 yard line. Last year when Adrian Peterson of the Vikings ran a kick off back for a touchdown, he was spotted 15 yards by Gould's short kick off. In the first preseason game, however, Gould kicked consistently to the end zone. Way to go Robbie. And your name is Gold. You are Jewish. Don't deny it.