Bears 29 - Colts 13

Super Bears Super Holy Shit

This must have been an opposite sketch. The quarterback, confused, burns multiple timeouts. A run game shut down. A coach wasting timeouts by challenging calls. Multiple third down conversions. Not even Peyton Manning's magical flappy wings could save him from a Bears defense that did almost everything right in Week One.

It must be noted that the Colts started a backup center and two backup guards due to injury. And Peyton sat out the entire pre-season due too an infected bursa sac. I'm going to throw up.

So the defense looked good against a depleted Colts offense. In the battle between our two exceptional cornerbacks , Tillman beat Vasher. Tillman did what he does best - creating havoc by punching the ball free on a Marvin Harrison reception, while Vasher missed a few tackles.

A. Brown and Yisra-el Idonije got their paws all over the ball. T. Harris had a 4 yard tackle for loss. Mike Brown didn't get hurt.

The more suprising story is the play on offense. D. Clark and Greg Olsen led the team in receptions.

D. Clark - 2 for 46
G. Olsen - 2 for 36

This is why fantasy football is stupid. In fantasy, these two aren't good picks because they split up stats. I will not live in a world where I cannot celebrate the shared accomplishments of Desmond Clark and Greg Olsen.



Matt Forte had a monster coming out party. Speed, Power, Moves.

23 carries
123 yards
5.3 average
1 touchdown

An interesting sub plot developed during the game. That's Bob Sanders, on the left, falling down behind Forte on Forte's 50 yard touchdown run. Earlier in the game, Sanders rammed into Forte as Forte was dragging along a D lineman for a few extra yards. Forte was forced out of the game for a few plays. Pictured on the right is Sanders flexing immediately after the hit. Retribution would come swiftly as Lance Briggs knocked Colts RB Joseph Addai out of the game a short while later. Addai would not return. Forte would blow by Sanders on said touchdown run.


Winner...Bears.

Briggs messed up Addai more than his Lamborghini last summer. Many have speculated that Briggs was drunk when he crashed his car. Look closely at the street sign. I believe that Lance went overboard on Mattar Paneer and was racing home to get to the toilet.

Shart - small, unintended defecation that occurs when one relaxes the anal sphincter to fart

So how excited should we get this season? Will Orton throw a touchdown this year? Does he have to? When Hester decided to bring the ball out of the end zone on a kick off and was brought down inside the five, I thought the game was over. I thought the season was over. The Bears recovered and ended up with a very convincing win. In 13 hours, after the Bears play a Steve Smith-less Panthers, we will have a better idea of just how good these Bears are.