Buccaneers 27 - Bears 24

Before we get to The Bad, first The Good:






This is our best receiver. His name is Brandon Lloyd. He has a music career and a fancy website.











He is the only WR who can catch Kyle Orton passes.

















Stud














The best player on the Bears right now












The Bad...



Lovie

His Philosophy:
Grind the clock with the run game
Win the Turnover Battle
Let Defense and Special Teams take care of business.

This translates into settling for too many field goal attempts.

We won the turnover battle and won time of possession and still lost the game.

We are a run first team, supposedly, because we are a Winter team. Every team plays cold weather games, though. I've never watched the Bears in December and felt they had an advantage because it was freezing outside. If anything, the Bears always look like they're freezing their asses off - Except for Olin.

Lovie failed to call timeouts when the D was getting torched and winded in the hurry up.


He missed an earlier chance to call a timeout when Bucs 6 ft 7 " TE Jerramy Stevens shifted wide left to isolate LB Hunter Hillenmeyer (pictured left).

Isn't this what Greg Olsen is supposed to do?








Stevens is 5 yards past the endzone and the poor fella is still trying to tackle him. Very good. You tackled him. In the endzone.









Robbie Gould


He missed a 49 yard field goal. The highest paid kicker in the league is supposed to be automatic inside of 50. Why is Robbie the highest paid kicker in the Universe? Wouldn't he have been happy to be in the top 10 of highest paid kickers, or top 20, or top 32 ?







Kyle's 2nd INT

Down 6 to 7 at the end of the first half.
He attempts to fake a screen left to Forte, spins left in a complete circle, fakes no one because everyone on the Bucks is blitzing him, backpedals 10 yards and throws an INT that's run back for a Touchdown. If we are going to have Grossman-like blunders, I at least want Grossman out there doing the Good Rex stuff too.

If you didn't see Orton get spun like a dreidel on this scramble, i hope this youtube link still works.








Antics

T. Harris sounded foolish after the game defending Tillman. The point is you got outsmarted. The Bucs goaded you into stupid penalties.

Dan Hampton on the Score suggests that you get back at dirty players by shattering their windpipe on the next play.

Charles Tillman, next time a WR messes with you, karate chop his windpipe on the next play.








The Pass Rush

There's a lot of criticism out there for the Bears getting no sacks off 67 passing attempts, but the Bears did stop the run game - T. Harris was in on that. Dusty Dvoracek too, but Dusty, if you're going to be intense enough to make yourself puke before every game and wear warpaint, you might want to get a sack.








The Ghosts of Bears Past




Last time Chris Harris, this game Brian Griese















Charles Tillman




Tillman was doing his thing, winning the turnover battle, but he lost his cool.









Even though Vasher gave up the final Overtime reception and caught a heal in the nuts(pictured on left), he had an INT and didn't commit a costly OT penalty.










Edge - Vasher








And lastly, the Bears cut Mark Bradley today. Mark, you had one good half 3 or 4 years ago. You could have been the next Marcus Robinson. We hardly knew ye.

Panthers 20 - Bears 17

Way to rip my beating heart out and light it on fire.

Top 5 Reasons The Bears Lost To Carolina

5. Chris Harris

Ex-Bear Chris Harris came into this game with a chip on his shoulder. We've failed to find a hard hitting safety with a nose for the ball since foolishly trading Harris after '06. Harris was everywhere last week, getting his licks on WR's, stopping Hester on special teams and forcing a momentum changing strip on a 3rd quarter Greg Olson reception.

4. Jonathan Stewart

The Bears did a great job of shutting down DeAngelo Williams in the first half, but gave up 76 yards and 2 touchdowns to rookie Jonathan Stewart in the 2nd half. Same old story here with the D playing great in the first half, but with no support from Offense in scoring or field position, the Defense had to try to carry another game.














3. Poor Special Teams Play

Yes, we scored off a Darrel McClover blocked punt, but Special Teams penalties forced us to start with terrible field position the entire game.

Brandon McGowan committed two special teams penalties and would later sustain a season ending ankle injury.




McGowan will be replaced at Safety by Danieal Manning, who was benched in favor of McGowan at the start of the season. Manning (pictured with Urlacher) committed a Special Teams penalty late in the fourth, forcing the Bears to start on the 10 yard line.




Even the usually reliable Brad Maynard had a bad game, punting one ball 30 yards.

Kellen Davis and Jason McKie contributed to Special Teams penalties as well (McKie also had a false start on Offense).

Speaking of Mic's, do you think Patrick Dempsey is known more for this role...

Or the African Anteater Ritual?

2. Kyle Orton's Inability to Be A Playmaker

Matt Forte did his part in the run game, picking up huge chunks of yards throughout the game, but Kyle Orton failed to create a passing attack. He has no accuracy on the deep ball. His best throw of the game was an under thrown ball which Brandon Lloyd managed to catch for 32 yards.








Orton had three chances to score in the fourth quarter. The first one ended on this 3rd and 7 down field overthrow to an open Marty Booker.

On his next possession, after a 6 yard pass to Desmond Clark, he threw a 2nd down incomplete pass to Rasheed Davis. On 3rd down, he was called for a Grossman-like intentional grounding. End of possession.

His last chance with 2:24 left, with a win within reach, started with a monster Matt Forte 9 yard carry on 1st down. A team that gets off the bus running gives it to Forte on 2nd down, 3rd down and 4th down to try for that 1 yard. On 2nd down, Orton throws incomplete to Rasheed Davis. On 3rd down, he calls an audible and throws a terrible wide pass to Marty Booker. And on 4th down, Jason McKie was stopped for no gain.

The expert analysis (Dan Hampton and Doug Buffone) put a lot of blame for this 4th and 1 failure on rookie Tight End Kellen Davis' failure to be ready for his blocking assignment on a short count.

An Offensive Coordinator and QB's fates go hand in hand, so Ron Turner's WTF!?? playcalling shares the responsibility here.


















1. Greg Olson's Fumbles

No way around it. Olson's fumbles cost us the game. The first one came at the end of a long drive, after a Kellen Davis Special Teams penalty and Josh Beekman false start put us at the 6.

The second fumble (pictured on left), in the third quarter, and caused by Chris Harris was the absolute momentum changer in the game.

Olsen wasn't the only one to screw up in this game, but he is now outside of my circle of trust. It was a bad day for all Tight Ends not named Desmond Clark.





Game Notes:




A. Brown (96) had a sack for a 9 yard loss and a tackle for a 6 yard loss.

Yisra-el Idonije (71) had a 4th quarter sack for a loss of 12 yards.





In the battle between our 2 exceptional CB's, C. Tillman again had the better game with an INT of a Kevin payne pass break up. Vasher gave up some yards to Muhsin Muhammad, my least favorite Ex-Bear with a moustache.






And finally, check out this website...

http://www.biggestbearfan.com/

This guy is a bigger Bears fan than me. He's covered.

Here's his Vasher.


And my favorite, the Marcus Robinson!

Bears 29 - Colts 13

Super Bears Super Holy Shit

This must have been an opposite sketch. The quarterback, confused, burns multiple timeouts. A run game shut down. A coach wasting timeouts by challenging calls. Multiple third down conversions. Not even Peyton Manning's magical flappy wings could save him from a Bears defense that did almost everything right in Week One.

It must be noted that the Colts started a backup center and two backup guards due to injury. And Peyton sat out the entire pre-season due too an infected bursa sac. I'm going to throw up.

So the defense looked good against a depleted Colts offense. In the battle between our two exceptional cornerbacks , Tillman beat Vasher. Tillman did what he does best - creating havoc by punching the ball free on a Marvin Harrison reception, while Vasher missed a few tackles.

A. Brown and Yisra-el Idonije got their paws all over the ball. T. Harris had a 4 yard tackle for loss. Mike Brown didn't get hurt.

The more suprising story is the play on offense. D. Clark and Greg Olsen led the team in receptions.

D. Clark - 2 for 46
G. Olsen - 2 for 36

This is why fantasy football is stupid. In fantasy, these two aren't good picks because they split up stats. I will not live in a world where I cannot celebrate the shared accomplishments of Desmond Clark and Greg Olsen.



Matt Forte had a monster coming out party. Speed, Power, Moves.

23 carries
123 yards
5.3 average
1 touchdown

An interesting sub plot developed during the game. That's Bob Sanders, on the left, falling down behind Forte on Forte's 50 yard touchdown run. Earlier in the game, Sanders rammed into Forte as Forte was dragging along a D lineman for a few extra yards. Forte was forced out of the game for a few plays. Pictured on the right is Sanders flexing immediately after the hit. Retribution would come swiftly as Lance Briggs knocked Colts RB Joseph Addai out of the game a short while later. Addai would not return. Forte would blow by Sanders on said touchdown run.


Winner...Bears.

Briggs messed up Addai more than his Lamborghini last summer. Many have speculated that Briggs was drunk when he crashed his car. Look closely at the street sign. I believe that Lance went overboard on Mattar Paneer and was racing home to get to the toilet.

Shart - small, unintended defecation that occurs when one relaxes the anal sphincter to fart

So how excited should we get this season? Will Orton throw a touchdown this year? Does he have to? When Hester decided to bring the ball out of the end zone on a kick off and was brought down inside the five, I thought the game was over. I thought the season was over. The Bears recovered and ended up with a very convincing win. In 13 hours, after the Bears play a Steve Smith-less Panthers, we will have a better idea of just how good these Bears are.

End of Preseason

Kyle Orton loves sunflower seeds. Watch him after any three and out and he can't wait to dig in to the sunflower seeds. Kyle looked alright in the final preseason game against the Browns. So did Rex and Caleb. Rex drove 95 yards and threw for a touchdown on his one possession. Caleb Hanie scrambled his way across the field and put some points up. Someone even made Mark Bradley look good. Did Kyle throw for a touchdown in the preseason? I've decided who I want for our quarterback.

And this guy can be his backup.

I'm not going to hate on the Bears just yet. They are getting no respect by the sports world, many predicting a last place finish in the NFC North.
The Bears are starting almost every defensive starter that led us to the Superbowl. Vasher, Tillman. A. Brown, Ogunleye. Urlacher, Briggs. Tommie Harris, Mike Brown. That's a lot of Probowls. But how healthy are they? Lance Briggs is a tackling machine in the prime of his career, but Tommie might have a messed up knee. We heard a lot last season about Urlacher's arthritic back and neck surgery, but he said he was fine and got more money this summer. So did Tommie. Does this mean they are healthy?


Speaking of Ogunleye, he has a myspace page. www.myspace.com/official_adewaleogunleye. He has a lot of hot ladies for friends. This is a new phenomena I've discovered - Bears players on Myspace. There's no way Adewale even knows this page exists. A friend of his is getting laid by convincing Adewale to have a myspace page and offering to administer it for him.


I don't think we've learned much this preseason but I will point out a few more players who have stood out. Matt Forte, I'm convinced, is going to be a good running back. He continues to get the tough yards, the third and three yards, and he showed a good combination of power and speed in the last game as he hit some open field and put on a few moves to evade tackles. Is this guy handsome? I can't tell. Ask your wife or girlfriend. I think he looks a little like Pruitt Taylor Vince, the actor from Deadwood, The X-Files,House, JFK, Down By Law, Identity, and Natural Born Killers. Am I way off base here?

Brandon McGowan showed good instincts and toughness when he chased wide and threw down Jerome Harrison on a second and six on the Bears six yard line. This is a photo of Brandon McGowan - I think. I get my McGowan's and Manning's and McBride's and Graham's and Payne's confused. They're all secondary guys who have yet to distinguish themselves since the trading of Chris Harris to the Panthers. Harris went on to lead the league in forced fumbles for Carolina with 8. Good job with that one Angelo. Speaking of turnovers, I think the Bears have become so obsessed with stripping the ball that they are missing tackles.



I'd like to give my first Ed Schotz Good Sportsmanship Award to Alex Brown. A. Brown is one of my favorite players with a moustache. He got demoted last season by the upstart Mark Anderson. Did he gripe in public? Did he raise a stink? He upped his game and forced the Bears to make him a starter again. His huge Mickey Mouse hands block field goals and swat down passes with abandon.